Elements of Self Esteem

 You May Hear My Voice, but are You really Hearing My Need?

We are all powerful communicators. People send out messages everyday through their tone of voice, body language, their actions, and their attitude. These are all elements coming form the level of their self esteem.  Are you able to really understand what they are saying; especially, when their words to do match up with their actions?

Listening to the deeper message

Learning to listen to the deeper message, the one that they are silently saying, is a skill worth learning. This skill starts by observing people’s attitudes and actions that they express based on the Seven Basic Human Needs which is an adaptation from Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
These Seven Basic Human Needs are universal. These needs influence the motivation and determination behind our decisions and actions.

Out of Sorts

Any of these needs can easily fall out of balance as a person experiences a change in their routine, a sudden life altering event, or just day to day disruptions. However, we learn to adapt, ignoring the emotional impact which will throw our mental rhythm out of balance creating low self esteem. Rather than addressing the issue, we push forward, feeling frustrated and out of sorts.

The Solution

The solution begins with locating the problem and finding ways to quickly address the rebalancing of these human needs. Each positive intentional action taken to address and strengthen, will bring stability also to one’s mental state. The result is greater emotional balance that is reflected in their attitude, motivation and determination to accomplish their goals.

Elements of the Seven Emotional Core Needs

The elements that make up the Seven Emotional Core Needs are Purpose, Certainty, Significance, Growth, Variety, Contribution, Love.  The chart lists the need, the indicators of whether those needs are being met or not, and the actions one can take.
Personally, I like to think of this list as a gauge for the Attitude of the Heart. For when all seven are fulfilled and functioning, the ability to reach out to others, becomes an easy task causing relationships to flourish and grow.
The chart is a great guide for working with children, teenagers, and other adults. It shows the emotions, feelings, and actions one feels when their emotional needs are actively being fulfilled and when they are not.



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What do I do?

First, Simple observe the clues noticing when a person is in a negative state by what they say or their actions. Next compare their actions or attitude with what is written in the negative block. Once you locate similar actions, you will be able to identify the Human Need that is calling out for attention.

Second, Move then to the positive block where you will find a few suggestions of what positive actions can be taken to address their need.

What you are doing is giving them something that they have stopped giving themselves.  The mind and physical body is always searching for balance, and these actions will help bring them back into a more pleasant, balanced, peaceful state. (This information is not intended to diagnose, or prescribe)

For example:

You might feel argumentative for no reason. You seem to feel edgy and offer a quick negative comeback to others in conversation. You even recognize that you have been overeating and feeling nervous. Looking at the chart you realize that all of the attitudes and actions are found in the need for Certainty.  After taking a few moments to analyze where in your life you may feel a lack of certainty. Now read the block with the Positive Actions. You see that you could establish more of a routine, possibly create a schedule, and get more organized. All of these will give you a feeling of being more in control, and a sense of security.  As you think more about the situation you begin to realize that such actions could possibly help.
NOTE:  A person may have several needs that are lacking attention.  Always, pick out the need that speaks the loudest, or is drawing more attention. Seek ways in your life that you personally can fulfill these needs for yourself as well as others.
Real Positive Change ©2018

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