Effective Communication is the Goal

20141006_101848BHave you mastered the ability to express yourself well?  Are the words you are saying matching the tone in which you deliver them?  According to the dictionary, effective communication is defined  as verbal speech or other methods of relaying information that get a point across. … An example of effective communication is when the person who you are talking to listens actively, absorbs your point and understands it. (www.yourdictionary.com/effective-communication)

I had just finished my morning workout and was on my way out of the gym door when I heard the lady at the desk pleasantly shout, “Have a Great Day” to the woman who was a few steps ahead of me.  This was not an uncommon exchange of words for us each morning, yet this morning was different.  The answer from the woman in front of me caused me to stop and ponder.  Her response was, “That’s the Goal!”  She did not speak in a tone of sarcasm, but rather in an upbeat voice of appreciation and declaration.

Wow, I love it!  I could tell she is a person who is aware of her smallest thoughts, and the force of energy that she expresses them out into the world.

Why Is Effective Communication So Important?

In the article by the Australian Institute of Business, “6 Reasons Why Effective Communication Should Be A Focus in Your Business,” the writer feels that communicating effectively  facilitates innovation, a major  component for any businesses to grow and expand.  Why is that?  They explain that “when employees feel comfortable in openly communicating new ideas, cooperation and innovation will be at an all-time high. In addition, if staff are unable to convey their ideas due to limited communication skills, it is likely that the idea will not be implemented to its full potential.”  I agree totally.  Trust is a major key to good communication.  When people do not trust one another, they do not listen well to each other and valuable team building information is dropped by the wayside. Only when trust is felt between the employees, can they begin to work well with each other sharing ideas and allowing innovation to flow.  This principle is true for personal relationships also……………building trust is the KEY!  However, trust is not always about the other person; Trust begins with trusting your abilities to effective communicate..

Focused on Great Possibilities

When you communicate, focus on what you want, focus on the great possibilities that can come about that   day.  The thoughts that you focus on will multiply and begin to create, and that creation is either a positive emotion or negative emotion.  Have you ever noticed that when you begin to focus on the long hours you may be working, then your thoughts lead to areas at work that you may be struggling with.  You then begin to think about how miserable you are and unhappy.  Then the thoughts will continue to roll in your mind and you begin to think about a relationship relationship you are struggling with.  But, it doesn’t stop there….the thoughts keep going and growing.  Soon you are on to a whole different topic that is upsetting you and it has nothing to do with the first negative thought.

The same can happen with a positive thought but this time you begin to look more at the positive possibilities and acknowledge all the good things that are happening rather than the unpleasant.  You begin to say statements like, I am working the hours that help me reach my goal.  I can handle the

 stress easily, and I feel happy and fulfilled.   Because you choose to focus on the positive that you want, rather than what you do not want, more positive events begin to happen because your attitude is focused in a positive direction.

Journaling out your thoughts can help you to see your choice of words which are circulating through your mind.  Once you have them down on paper, you can easily see whether or not your thoughts are promoting the type of attitude that is strongly focusing on all your possibilities.

Watch Your Reactions

Are you ever surprised by your reactions to a situation?  You have anger rising toward a person or event that you just can’t seem to control?  A reaction comes from a group of thoughts, a perception that was created sometime during your life experience and is not stored away in your thinking tank – the brain.  Any time you come across a situation or person that reminds you of that perception, the emotional reaction, negative or positive, will automatically follow.  That is why you may find yourself getting upset over a simple situation that could easily be resolved.  Your mind automatically attached a past negative experience to the present situation.

My solution? Freeze the reaction for a split moment and Ask Yourself a few Questions. . Any time you find your reaction out of control, the question to ask yourself is, “what is behind this?” “What thoughts or ideas are creating this strong feeling?”  “When have I felt this way before?”  There are times I have asked myself, “at what age did I have a similar feeling?”  Typically many of our perceptions were created during our childhood years. The old perception runs automatically, like a tape recording, any time a situation triggers a similar event or brings up a memory.  So basically, 9 times out of 10 it is not the immediate event that triggered your reaction but rather your mind found an old file, (an old thought) of an event in your life that may seem similar.  It does this to help decipher what is going on at the present moment.and if the situation is safe.

As a child or some other earlier time in your life you made a decision about the situation you were experiencing whether it was safe, or not, and whether it was a pleasant experience, or a negative experience.  If your experience was negative than you may have made an emotional decision such as feeling betrayed, unworthy, un-noticable, unappreciated, and so forth.  If it was a positive experience than your emotional decision would be based on feeling safe, and positive

Realize that a thought is just a group of words with no emotional connection.  Once you accept the thought as valid and believable, a FEELING is created to match the thought. As you focus on a thought, the body creates a chemical to support and emphasize  that thought, this is what we call emotion.  Therefore, each thought can become a powerful motivator and goal-destroyer depending on what type of emotion is generated from it.  So to change your reaction you need to start with the thought.

I have heard it said that “our reactions to life situations is what writes our story.”  I believe you can rewrite your story as you become more aware of your personal thoughts, and take the action to change your negative reactions.

Mastering the ability to stay calm starts with taking care of your own personal stress level.

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How to Improve Your Communication Skills

A few ways to improve your communication skills are as follows:

Listen, Listen, and Listen some more.  People like to be hear, so pay attention everything they are saying rather than thinking ahead as to what is going to be your response.

Body language – You send messages through the movement of your body.  The break down of how you receive information is based on…55% Body Language, 38% Tone of Voice, 7% on the actual words that you say.  Our facial expression, the little movements we make as we talk, and our tone of voice sends a greater amount of information than the actual words that we use.

Be Brief, Yet Specific and think before you speak

Smile when you are talking with someone.  A smile is part of our body language.  It also helps to invite engagement.  A smile is like an invitation and encourages more conversation, as well as a feeling of acceptance.  When you genuinely smile while your speak, your tone of voice raises to a more enthusiastic tone. 

To bring greater success in your personal and professional life be willing to Improve your ability to effectively communicate to others, take more responsibility of your reactions, and become more aware and willing, to resolve negative emotions and the perceptions that are creating them.

Dr. Wilson expresses clearly his thought…..

This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste – or use it for good; but what I do today is important, because I am exchanging a day of my life for it! When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever. leaving in its place something I have traded for it. I want it to be gain not loss; good and not evil; success and not failure; in order that I will not regret the price that I have paid for it.” Dr. Heartsill Wilson

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