ALL Reactions are a Mirror to an unmet NEED & Worry – are You paying Attention?

Leave a Comment / Detox Your Mood / By Cathy Freeman

 It is not uncommon for a child (and even as an adult) to feel slight anxiety when separated from their parent, or those they love.  But for children (and people in general) who ARE extra sensitive, that period of separation may register in the subconscious as a feeling of abandonment.

We have all heard children cry for a short period and then become distracted by something and begin to play.  Yet I have seen others sobbing and flinging their arms in a desperate attempt to grab hold of their departing parent.  Not only is the child upset, but now the mother is flooded with an array of intense emotions. First, she is upset about the cries of her child, torn between wanting to console and knowing that she must leave the child alone. Secondly, she may also begin to feel as if she is a prisoner who cannot go ANYWHERE alone.

I remember my youngest child responding in a similar way….she had to be distracted while I sneaked out the door to take care of an errand or business.  The very second that she realized I was gone, she would throw herself on the floor and cry.  I didn’t have the knowledge then that I do now to help her with the stress of separation. I simply did not have an understanding of what was really going on and everyone was telling me that she would be alright.

As time went on she did not “grow out of it” and I knew that I needed to do something because of the mental perceptions that were beginning to take root in her mind. 

At this point, I still did not have my training, but Instinctively when she started showing signs of insecurity, I would hold her close to me until I could feel her body relax.  The more I began to understand that she needed to feel secure, the easier it was for me to handle the situations.

We all have Needs. 

All of us have the same (7) needs, or what one might refer to as driving forces. The needs act similar to the foundation of a house. 

The more consistent attention given to each need daily, the greater this foundation stays strong allowing a person to respond positively to negative situations as they arise throughout the day. However, if one or more is ignored then the foundation becomes weak and the emotional house begins to fall down…so to speak.

When all needs are being addressed one feels clarity and confidence.

These seven needs help a person to respond clearly and confidently to situations filtering out the truth and false perceptions. They can also reverse the tendency to ignore one’s feelings, a pattern of managing situations that ultimately creates a build-up of emotional energy which will ultimately explode outward in a negative response.  ie.  Anger, frustration, impatience, ignoring, etc.

Which need addresses separation anxiety?

I would look at the Need for Security when addressing separation anxiety. This particular need focuses on the feeling that one is protected and has a sense of surety about what is going on.  This creates inner emotional stability. 

You can always tell when this need is “offline”, for yourself or another person, because of the emotional display and tone of attitude that is being portrayed.  Usually, the reactions or feelings are of temper, loneliness, insecurity, indecision, confusion, and even doubt. These are all indicators, clues you might say, that something is not working right and it is time to address this need.

Quick easy ways to address this need.

The two key ways to fill this need is with “touch” and “time“.

Time means spending extra time with the individual, one-on-one, and addressing them directly face to face.  At that particular moment, you may feel that you don’t have the “extra” time to address this issue.  This becomes emotional information that only adds fuel to the fire, and I guarantee that the child is picking up on that mental thought because of the emotional, energetic feeling it puts out.

Children are like mirrors

Many times our children act as mirrors to our own emotional state. 

When you say in your own mind that you never have enough time, watch what happens around you. Can you see your children beginning to feel more insecure, whinny, miss-behaving? I have found that their actions are like a mirror that is bringing attention to MY problem.  Sounds crazy, I know; but I have experienced it in my own life.  ,

Either way, you must change the perception in your mind, focusing more on the thoughts, “I have all the time that I need” “I have all the time that you need”.  This can be challenging when your schedule is tight, or you saying to yourself….” let me just get to this point, and then I will do ______,”. Another similar statement is, “I have to do this ONE more thing and then I can give you my time and attention”.

Send a loving thought…I call it an emergency email.

Keep your loved ones in your thoughts as you are working on your projects, send them mental messages of love and reassurance.  “I am always sending my kids, no matter the age, mental emails that say, “I love you, you are amazing, I believe in you, I am with you – spirit to spirit”. 

Be a support to them, instead of a basket of worry. Practice sending energetic emails to those you love of confidence and reassurance… and strengthen your ability to feel more of an energetic connection.