7 Basic Needs – Your Driving Force

The 7 Needs Chart is a list of a few basic emotional wants that we all have.  When a need is being ignored, an inner conflict develops and negative reactions to situations becomes more automatic.   

We have all experienced times when our emotional bucket is empty, yet we ignore the signs of exhaustion thinking we are the “Ever-Ready Bunny”, we still try to give.  

Something has to give.  Usually, it is our health or emotional state of mind.  Short-tempered and impatience are definite signs that we have ignored our own needs, as well as the feelings of being depleted, worn out, and discouraged.

I am reminded of a quote I heard one morning in my Bible study time.  It came from a woman, Neill F. Marriot.  She said, “We build up the Kingdom when we nurture others.  However, the first child of God we must build up in the restored gospel is ourselves.”

For me personally, I have found that my thoughts are greatly affected by a lack in one of the Seven Personal Needs. When a need is ignored my level of resilience begins to plummet and responding positively to day-to-day situations becomes more challenging.  

We all have Needs. 

All of us have the same (7) needs, or what one might refer to as driving forces. The needs act similar to the foundation of a house. 

The more consistent attention given to each need daily, the greater your emotional foundation will stay strong.  You will have the ability to  respond positively to negative situations as they arise throughout the day. However, if one or more is ignored then the foundation becomes weak and the emotional house begins to fall down…so to speak.

When all needs are being addressed one feels clarity and confidence.

These seven needs help a person to respond clearly and confidently to situations.  They help to filter out the your true perceptions from your false perceptions. The longer a need is ignored the greater the build-up of emotion.  The build up continues until a situation begins lights the fuse and the person’s reaction is explosive.  ie.  Anger, frustration, impatience, ignoring, etc.

Children who cry and cry when a parent leaves…may have separation anxiety.  

In a situation such as this, I would look at the Need for Security.  This particular need focuses on the feeling that one is protected and has a sense of surety about what is going on.  A sense of surety is what creates inner emotional stability. 

I find that I can always tell when this need is “offline” for myself or another person by paying attention to their attitude.   Usually, the reactions or feelings are of temper, loneliness, insecurity, indecision, confusion, and even doubt. These are all indicators, clues you might say, that something is not working right and it is time to address this need.

Quick easy ways to address this need.

The two key ways to fill this need is with “touch” and “time“.

Time means spending extra time with the individual, one-on-one, and addressing them directly face to face.  At that particular moment, you may feel that you don’t have the “extra” time to address this issue.  This becomes emotional information that only adds fuel to the fire, and I guarantee that the child is picking up on that mental thought because of the emotional, energetic feeling it puts out.

Children are like mirrors

Many times our children act as mirrors to our own emotional state. 

When you say in your own mind that you never have enough time, watch what happens around you. Can you see your children beginning to feel more insecure, whinny, miss-behaving? I have found that their actions are like a mirror that is bringing attention to MY problem.  Sounds crazy, I know; but I have experienced it in my own life.  ,

Either way, you must change the perception in your mind, focusing more on the thoughts, “I have all the time that I need” “I have all the time that you need”.  This can be challenging when your schedule is tight, or you saying to yourself….” let me just get to this point, and then I will do ______,”. Another similar statement is, “I have to do this ONE more thing and then I can give you my time and attention”.