This is a shout out to you moms who deal on a daily basis with extra sensitive, overly-active, hypersensitive, or obsessively, perfectionistic kids. You Are Not alone!!!! More and more mothers are dealing with these symptoms coming from their children, and there are healthy, natural tips and techniques you can do to help them adapt to situations and process daily life easier.
I remember one of my children, being into everything, always on the go. I loved the sense of adventure, the drive to explore, the constant movement, and the use of imagination. However, while this worked well at home, going to a place where staying in one spot and sitting still for any length of time was a painful experience.
I remember attending church one Sunday, and this child would not “behave” the way one is expected to behave, quiet and reverent. I had tried all the tricks to keep this energetic child quiet, the bag of cereal, the quiet book, the crayons, etc. etc., and I had just had it!
Nothing was falling into place on that day, and I was feeling over-worked and frustrated. I am a strong individual who generally can handle a lot. Because of this strong willed attitude, I tend to overlook my emotional needs, moving right into” survivor mode” to get things done. The thought of stopping long enough to clear out emotional build up for myself was not even in my vocabulary. Consequently, my mind beings to stew and loop-over the thought, that I was doing this all alone fueling an emotion of abandonment. This emotion was not true, but once my mind was triggered, the perception was fueled with passion and fury, like a run away train.
As a young family my husband was given responsibilities that required him to leave early on Sunday, keeping him busy for most of the day. During the Sunday service he would need to set up on the stand to be able to conduct the meeting. This left me alone to get the kids ready for church and then keep the quiet and occupied during the meetings. Because they were energetic, keeping them quiet was not an easy task and more times then not, I left the meeting feeling exhausted.
I remember one Sunday, after struggling with my strong-willed 2 year old for half of the meeting, I picked the child up and left the chapel to find a quiet class room. After a quick and sharp spank on the behind I firmly sat the child on the little table and with a tone of anger and force, barked orders to “settle down”. We then returned back to the chapel, where the child sat quietly the rest of the meeting. Victory! I had won, or had I?
I do believe in teaching a child respect and reverence, but sometimes we don’t have all the pieces. What I didn’t realize then, and do now, is that one of his top 3 learning styles is kinesthetic, meaning he learns through motion. It makes perfect sense to me now why church was always a struggle.
His first style for gathering information is logic, which to a 3 year old, sitting still for long periods of time is not logical. His second style for gathering information is music/feeling, which could also create hyperactivity, simply because being around so many people, could put him into a sensory over-load. This over-load is created by all of the emotional energy given off by everyone in the room. (Think about the times you may have walked into a room after an argument. You did not participate in the fight, but you now feel that something had gone on.) So every time another child would cry, he would pick up on the feeling of distress, frustration, or even anger.
As if this wasn’t enough to deal with, the 3rd step in his particular way and order of gathering information is kinesthetic. (Learning through motion and body movement) So every time this style of learning kicked into gear, I, unaware of what I was doing, would instantly would shut him down. I had no idea, and now ask myself, how was he ever to learn? How was he expected to love church, or anything that forced for such a long period of time, to sit perfectly still?
Women are the greatest givers of nurturing. The ability to understanding how another person, whether young or grown, intakes information and expresses this information, is a valuable tool for the ability to understand one another. This information is not an excuse for bad behavior, rather having the skill and tools to understand another individual is the foundation for developing strong communication skills and building happy relationships.
What can a mother do?
Muscle Testing: A young mother, whom I have taught the skill of muscle testing, has been using it to find out which food dyes are triggering her son to have strong mood reactions. She found that when he ate Red 40, he would be angry, have rage, be un-rational becoming a “slave to his emotions”, as she described it. She could connect the dots… meaning the times the times that he had eaten or drank something with this dye and his emotional outbursts. I applaud her for using her skills to help understand her son and how to help the situation.
Shift their Thinking: A simple way of giving direction to the emotional energy that travels throughout your mind and body.
Reflexology: Pressure points on the feet.
Sand Talk: Great outlet for creative expression of thoughts conscious and unconscious
****Music: Certain music has been developed to work with the energy of the mind and body. (I often played Serene Tones at night as they feel off to sleep to clear out the stress from the day.)
Understanding of the Individuality: Learn about their way of gathering information from the world (Click Here)
* Instead of candy with these dyes, many moms are finding lollipops that use natural dyes like from fruits and vegetables. As one mom says, “yes, they cost more, but well worth the price.” Kids do not feel a sense of deprivation when we find healthy alternatives.
* Sleep: No one can go on little sleep and truly stay healthy. Our body needs that quiet time to recharge and release stress. If your kids have a hard time settling down to sleep, or struggle with nightmares, slow, calming musing helps to relax the body. I prefer Serene Tones because the music has been created with tones that help the 7 nerve centers to release stress. I think of it as music for health.
* Pressure points on the feet will relax as well as a spot that I use often on the head.
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What have you found to be successful to help children when they are flowing with so much energy?