Why do we find another’s deep emotional outburst funny? I am not saying “wrong or right”….my concern focuses more on the level at which we laugh at another’s pain. Call this “standing on my soap box” (love that term, I think it came from England) Anyway, I write this in response to a video I saw on facebook. (Side note: Unable to find the direct link, I had to use his page)
Here is the situation:
Parents want to tell their three children (1 boy about 7 or 8, and 2 younger sisters…guessing 5 & 3) whether mommy is carrying a baby boy or a baby girl. They had a cute idea. A cake was baked in the color (pink for girl, and probably blue for boy) illustrating the sex of the baby, and then frosted in white so no one knows the answer, until they cut into the cake. Can you picture this so far?
The 3 children are sitting, facing the camera. The cake sits right in front. Dad begins by asking each one what they think the baby will be….all seems to be going smoothly. Then the cake is cut and as a piece is lifted out, the children’s eyes fall upon…. Pink cake ! There should be squeals of laughter and happy expressions for this new addition, but what you see next is a young boy in shock. He hollers as his parents continue to take pictures….”IT’S A GIRL, IT’S A GIRL, IT’S A GIRL”. And then as if this could be a GREAT BIG JOKE, he says it again, but this time in a questioning voice. “IT’S A GIRL? (If you watched the video, these are not tones of delight and happiness).
Reality Hits Him (Thought) – followed with matching chemicals from the brain (Producing Response)
Then reality hits him that he, once again, is left to be the only boy in a sea of girls…(personally, I don’t think that is a bad thing). However, I having been right there in his same shoes and can totally relate to those rushing emotions of disappointment. (I was the only girl with 4 brothers – of which I would never trade…but, as great as the male race is, a sister would have been my greatest desire for both my mother and myself)
We all have Intense Emotions – It’s how we express it
Many children respond with intense emotions when face with disappointment, and I say Bravo that he is allowed to voice his true feelings, rather than bottle them up in shame and remorse. Yet, I can’t help but wonder why a parent would continue to video their child’s display of frustration as their mood grows into full blown grief? Why not turn off the video and address the emotional need of their child? Or perhaps was there more concern of making “TV’s funniest videos?….of which I don’t watch, because most of them center around another persons accidents and pain. (Call me soft hearted, ridiculous, or what-ever…)
Something is physically happening within this child’s body,a violent explosion of unseen chemicals that are affecting his anatomy.
He is stuck in a loop of thought, and needs a tender rescue to bring his world back into balance.
All parents will experience a child’s outburst of displeasure….and I have never been one to support reactions of anger or tantrums, but how much better for everyone when parents learn and teach skills on how to deal with emotional eruptions such as disappointment, grief, and anger.
Remember, anger is fear being expressed in an outward motion.
So I ask myself, what does this child need most?
- First to stop the flood of hormonal chemicals racing through his mind and body. (What I use)
- Stop his looping thoughts and shift in a healthier direction – Thought frequencies, Sand Talk
- Support and security, that is the greatest need in my opinion. (and that’s my 2-cents worth)
Watch for “Mommy’s Rescue Kit” coming soon
Want to Lean More ? Click Here