Let me set the stage…….After dinner my husband begins to open up expressing the results of a phone call that came earlier that evening. They (meaning his place of work) decided they were not going to be able to keep him on like they had hoped. I could tell by his demeanor that he was filled with concern and questions all coming from a similar theme….“What will I do next?”.
I found myself going into my usual protective mode when crisis hits. First I retreat (go into my shell) searching for my own answers and attempting to dodge the assault of my own feelings. My first call to duty is to call my mind and body to attention dismissing the anger, that normally strikes first, when I find myself placed in a state of fear.
Second, to reach out to him from a place of comfort, understanding and encouragement. A challenging task, a tall order to fill, when you understand that magnitude of what has just happened and the effect it will have on you.
Now, let’s speed forward a few hours to 2:00 a.m. when I am awaken out of a sound sleep; my mind begins to race through the most recent events. “Come on Cathy, you know how to do this…controlling your thoughts, you know how to effectively deal with a crisis, it is your forte”. “Think, what have you learned through personal experience, and are presently coach others. Find your quiet place and move forward.” I quieted my mind, preparing myself to hear the real message that had brought me from a sound peaceful sleep to alert and conscious.
I pondered the reality and understanding of our “automatic response“. The first response to any change of life that typically triggers an emotion of FEAR. We may not recognize it as we take a moment and step into our closet to locate our “Super-Woman” cape; but no matter how strong we try to be, or how powerful we think we are, some form of fear will present itself with our automatic reaction being either fight or flight.
I then recognized my second response, that of going into “rescue” mode. Mental thoughts like, “I have to get busy and do______”. I can fix this…I can make it all better. You know all those thoughts that race through your mind of how you can step in and “fix” the problem.
I find this turn of events so interest, because earlier that day I made the decision to change a way of thinking that has been stopping my progress. The fear of not being accepted, of saying the wrong things, making a fool of myself. All these are old programs created way back in the 5th grade.
How could that once traumatic, but now silly situation still be holding me back? Easy, these past experiences keep running their scripts through our sub-conscious pulling us back to old patterns and unproductive ways of handling situations. Like a time-warp of unfinished business and old energy. A Ferris wheel that goes round and round. I definitely feel that It is time for a change, and I am ready now!
The first words that came to my mind in the wee hours of this morning were…
- “We forgot to go to our knees and counsel with God.” Asking, “What path would you have me on?” Instead we stepped into the automatic response and found ourselves feeling the weight of overload.
- Next I was told to go back and recount the daily lessons and teachings that have been coming my way these last few weeks. Those moments of mini-guidance that come along the way. (Good reason to keep a daily journal)
- The word “breeding ground” came to my mind, Ican not control the outward situations, but I can control my mind and the thoughts that I choose to focus upon. My mind is a breeding ground for anything that has been planted. If I will pay attention to the sprouting crop (Ideas) that formulate out of these thoughts, I will have a clear awareness of whether the seeds (thoughts) that were planted are good or not.
- I also realized that I could to stop the feeling of anxiety and panic, each time I could feel it coming on, by immediately focus on a thought of gratitude. The first being that, “I am grateful for this turn of events, I have felt myself pushed me off the high dive board from where I had long been standing”.
- I am also aware that each change of circumstance will produce a series of regrets; however, as I choose to find a place of resolve , I will step out of the old and into the new.
3 things to remember when you find yourself facing troubling situations:
- Have Clear Focus………………………………………to do that stay clear of Anger
- Find Resolve, a completion…………………………to do that transform Regret
- Believe and Do, Create the New…………………. to do that beware of Impatience
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