It never fails…as soon I come to a place where I make a declaration of how I want to respond to certain situations in life….”here comes the heavenly homework.” Wouldn’t you agree that we can talk about “being” something until we are blue in the face….but when we actually put action to this thought, that is when the change can begin to take place.
My heavenly homework centers around the thoughts that I wrote in my last two blogs about the emotional need or response of love. The details of my homework events are not as important as my reaction or response to those events…My “calling on the carpet” has to whether I have learned how to feel love and give love..
Life would not be hard if I could live in a bubble that I completely controlled, meaning everything revolves around me. 🙂 But that is not the kind of life I choose to experience. A full rich life involves other people, their attitudes, their reactions, experiencing their struggles, celebrating their joys, it involves.those moments of complete chaos where a choice is to be made, a choice of how I will respond and if I will be affected by it. For me, this is my definition of real living. The culmination of real moments that create my eternal learning, bringing me out of my dark cocoon and into the morning light.
Understand I love being married. And these situations that create havoc, are really the stepping stones of my journey to creating a deeper understanding of me and a brighter, clearer meaning of my life. A life that is splendidly different than my original idea of a fairy tale created in my younger years.
Typically a persons first response, their automatic response in tough situations, is not always noble and majestic. There is a process to elevating ones life, and it is created one day at a time. In a conflict, the first automatic emotion that comes to a person’s mind is not balloons, sunshine and lollypops. At least not for me. Most of the time, my first response in a moment of conflict is the feelings of hurt, betrayal, abandonment, or even the thought of “my way or the highway..buddy.”
After several years of marriage, I wanted to control these emotions. The only tools I had developed at that stage in my life were “grin-it and bear-it”. However, when emotions have been buried for any length of time they become volatile and eruptive, and once uncovered can turn into a volcanic eruption of rage exploding all over the place.
Or if one feels they can not express these emotions they are moved deeper inward creating feelings of loneliness, depression or despair.
As woman, many of us are intuitively aware of the emotions and feelings of others. For many years I tried to block this natural gift, my unique way of interpreting the world. Today,I no longer resist this influx of information that helps me to interpret and understand another human being.
I am grateful and honored for my God given gift to nurture and make the world a better place. A natural and instinctive trait given to women. But, with these instinctive gifts comes the temptation to want to change another person, an impulse that once created grief and many times sadness, threatening to become a great thorn in my side.
The road of learning to give others their choice and agency at first seemed to be a steep mountain to climb. At times the trail a bit rocky, but the view has been splendid has I have cultivated the skills that are helping me master this emotional journey.
My goal is to Live a Life that is rich and full of real experiences. To find the positive road in every situation with the help of skills that I have mastered and God’s inspiration. To offer gratitude for the opportunity through trial an err, to determine my change of direction and then, boldly, bravely, tenderly lead by example.
Join me on the journey. Learn tools that develop skills for helping you master any situation. More insight, patience, calmness and ability to offer a leader – type response. Tools that will clear confusion or lift the weighty emotion of Grief for yourself or another. Visit www.cathyfreemanrpc.com