Personal needs that are not being met can send success right out the window; leaving one feeling like they are running on a fast moving Hamster Wheel, never getting anywhere. The quickest way to stop this madness is to be transparent, opened and willing to see the real need. To stand clear of judgement and then have the courage to step up and give what is needed.
There is truth in this statement, “You cannot give someone something that they are not willing to give themselves.” And that applies to our personal needs. Depending on others to bring us to full capacity is a tall order, and unrealistic for anyone other than God.
Too often we put on our Big-girl panties and move onward, thinking that it doesn’t really matter; ignoring those inner signals that eventually will turn to overwhelm and burnout. Our personal declaration…our statement of independence shouts out to the world…” I have done it before, I will do it again, I can handle everything and take care of myself later.” “Besides, I am a take charge, hold it all-together, entrepreneurial woman….I have no problems being transparent; but that can come later in the day.”
Later is now, and I propose that each day starts with a clear look. Everyday a little self-care, focused on a need that is not being met, will go along ways in ones ability to handle the rest of the day’s demands with flare and pazzaz.
I have found seven needs that ring true for every individual; the need for passion-(to progress), the need for agency, the need to be acknowledged, the need for love, the need to be valued, the need for creativity, and the need for security.
To explain, let me give a quick example using the need for love. How can I tell when I have this emotional imbalance? By paying attention and recognizing the emotions that you find coming up in yourself, or that you feel are showing up in others. We are like mirrors and most of the time what we see in others is really what we see in ourselves, but unwilling to acknowledge.
What one sees when the need for love shows up is reactions like:
- a dislike for someone, or feeling that you are disliked by someone,
- have feelings of insecurity around people, or feeling that people are insecure around you,
- unable to get what you want, or maybe what you seek feels like you are being denied or held back.
These are all emotional reactions that show up when someone’s need for love is not being fulfilled. However, when this need is fulfilled, they find results and see their life has being cherished, comforted, and encouraged.
Waiting on someone else to personally fill these needs is like holding our breath underwater as long as we possibly can. We are determined to stay under, holding and holding, until the pain is too great and we scramble up to the surface chocking and gasping for air.
What is important is to realize that God has given us the power within to meet our needs. A confidence, that when not blocked, finds the perfect ways to flow the energy of these needs to us; like breathing fresh air on a clear, crisp morning uninhibited and free for the taking.
Join back for tomorrow’s blog… let’s talk more on how we can make this happen.