Do you ever feel that your mind is a breeding ground for fear and worry? You just can’t seem to shut down the inner voice nagging at your insecurities or focusing on the faults of someone else. What is happening? Do you find that your mind, once clear and calm, is now filled with a haze of uncertainty that undermines your confidence and ability as a nurturer and leader? We are women who wear many hats of responsibility and our success lies on our ability to be calm and have a clear mind. Let me share with you a situation that happened to me recently.
When a loved one ages to the point of where they are unable to take care of themselves and are in need constant professional care, the worry, grief and sadness can become overwhelming. This is the situation for my family, especially my mother, over my Grandmother for the last six years. She was always a strong, independent individual; however, aging has a way of stripping away ones independence leaving them totally helpless. She has forgotten that I am her granddaughter and now struggles even to think of how to do simple things, like feeding herself.
Steady 24 hour care is a heavy burden felt by the most efficient caregiver has they do the relentless work required to fight against the natural aging process that ultimately ends in death. And although I am aware of how difficult this work can be, I found myself disturbed with the attitude rendered by a nurses-aid that was giving care to my grandmother. She radiated pure irritation with performing her duties, totally unacceptable, and even more so when you fear her actions anger could be directed toward your loved one. I did not hesitation to set up a meeting with the head personal to address my concerns over my grandmothers care.
The director took my concerns seriously desiring to find a solution. As we continued to talk, our conversation took an interesting turn. I acknowledged the high level of stress that these care givers are under, which then led to the possibilities of what other events might have happened in this women’s life earlier that day. She mentioned the situation that could have contributed or became a direct influence on her frustrated attitude. For example, did her children go without Christmas because her low income was unable to provide for their needs? Were there other struggles in the home? Had her own personal needs been met? Our focus quickly turned from my grandmother to what serious concerns this woman might be facing and what systems of training could I provide to change her, and other employees level of stress.
Stress is the catch-all word used to describe what I call the invisible layer. That part of us that no one can see, not even ourselves at times, the internal perceptions formulating and creating our automatic reactions. This layer is often fed by internalized fears, unrecognized frustrations, and old mental images that no longer exist; yet in a split of a second can reappear in our mind causing us to relive every emotion good and bad from these past events. Here lies the perceived experiences of ones earlier years which formulated their decisions of what and who they could trust, if they were safe, as well as the conclusions of self value and importance. All these perceptions, seeds of emotion and attitude, buried deep in this Invisible layer.
What is the purpose of this Invisible layer? It becomes the super highway of our internal thoughts energized by emotions which are strong enough to redirect and over ride our bodies functioning systems. It is a place of choice, the determining factor of success for some and failure for others. The area where one programs their mind creating either a foggy film of uncertainty fed by a steady stream of worry and fear, or a power house of faith, hope and intuitive instruction. Through my understanding of this Invisible layer I have made changes in my attitude and personal reactions that have had a direct impact on my family, a strengthening to my marriage and brought boldness to my career.
Through this system I have trained my mind to no longer anguish over others choices and decisions. If I begin to obsess over situations that I have no control, I am now able to truly let go of forcing the outcome, calming my mind and directing it back to clear direct thinking. We will always have worries, so please understand that I am not saying that I do not have worries, rather what I am strongly saying is that I simply do not let the worries Have Me. I make a daily choice knowing that the type of emotion I allow to linger throughout my body will have a direct affect on my health and wellbeing; so believe me when I say… I have absolutely chosen to take a leap of faith, to make a Real Positive Change!
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