Have you ever wondered why your youngster, pre-teen, or teenager can be sweet has an angel one minute and then turn into a monster the next? I came across some reading of why kids get angry and what adults can do about it in my sons scouting magazine from years ago. The explanation can get a little “wordy”, but what we are going for here, is to build a visual of what physically is going on in the mind. Hopefully this will give you more understanding and a greater feeling of how to deal with moments of un-managed emotion. If you, like me, seek to gain greater understanding of the mind and the power of our thoughts especially when it comes to the health of our body – you will enjoy a short call that I recorded earlier this year.
It is free to listen to….. http://cathyfreemanrpc.com/Recorded_Calls.html
The article was titled “Jekyll and Hyde Jr. We are told that it boils down to two key areas of the brain. And out of these two only one is fully functioning at these early years.
This one functioning area is the amygdala (an almond-shaped structure) which serves as the brain’s alarm center where fear, anger, and arousal begin. “The amygdala is loaded with receptors for the hormone testosterone that surges through an adolescent boy’s body as much as seven times a day.” WOW! “As the testosterone starts to flow, it lights up like the Fourth of July”.
‘Those impulses head off to the prefrontal cortex (PFC), which manages them and weighs the consequences of potential actions. Unfortunately, the PFC is still under construction in the teen years and remains so until the early 20’s”
“That’s why boys at that age can be so impulsive, be risk takers, and quick to anger”
So YES, there is a physical/mental reason for their out busts. But, let me ask you this…what avenues and opportunities are we giving our children to release this output of chemical overflow? What examples are we teaching through our very own actions which automatically forms the training of how to deal with their emtional stress? Do we pop a pill?, take a drink?, over spend our money to satisfy a need? Do we use some form of over-indulgence hoping to numb ourselves and the desire to release this volcanic eruption?
Yes, I had a bad temper. Not something that people would actually see in me. It would flare up when I felt that my needs were not being met. When I felt lonely, not recognized, over worked. I use to justify my actions until I started to notice my children using these actions and responses amongst themselves. Children are wonderful mirrors, reflecting back all the negative that we overlook or choose not to see. I definitely realized it was time for an absolute real positive change . After giving the matter much prayer, I recognized a need for me to release emotions through a more healthy avenue. These events became the starting point for my training. The quest to learn how to manage my thoughts and emotions while at the same time stop the learning of behavior of anger and depression which had been passed on through generations.
Now when I get frustrated at someones actions or when I feel that the events in my life are not going the way I feel that they should, I stop and take a close look at what ideas are running though my mind. More times than not, I find that I am functioning from thoughts of worry, fear, or feeling out of “control”. And because I am holding on to these emotional thoughts, my mind begins to create a visual image of a world filled with discontent, frustration, and fear for the future. There is nothing good that can grow from thoughts like these.
The moment I realize that I have become burdened with what appears to be trouble, I turn these thoughts and feelings over to God. The trouble is that too many times I pick them back up with out realizing it. So to stop myself from doing this I have learned and created a method that keep my mind moving in a positive forward direction.
I have successfully over the last 15 years changed my attitude and my reactions. I have trained my family and 100’s of others how to see situations differently, how to forgive past experiences and move forward without the hurt or blame.
Basically the goal is to create a “tool box” (so to speak) filled with a variety of techniques that keep the mind functioning in a healthy direction. One of my favorite is a quick mind balancing method which quickly breaks away destructive emotion. Nothing can go deeper than music to acknowledge wounds or unsettled feelings, and it is for that reason that I absolutely recognize the power of music to heal. Sand tray has helped young and old communicate and gain understanding of their unconscious thoughts. Real Positive Change creates this “tool box” giving you the ability to address thoughts which have been stopping or jumbling up in the mind.
A few other ideas and tools is to give yourself time to sit down and write – to write out all of your feelings and frustrations. Asking yourself questions like, “what would my life look like if I responded in a different way?” “What other ways could I respond?” Etc.
Give yourself time throughout the week to exercise or play a sport. This is another excellent tool for good health mentally, emotionally and physically. Releasing emotional build up is the key.
Do we want a healthy world? Then teach this to our kids. Teach them how to manage their emotions. To understand their strengths of their personalities and the ways that they uniquely gather information. Help them to succeed even when life offers a “topsey turvey” change of events. Teach them to re-direct their thoughts from feeling like they are a victim to feeling that they can, and are truly meant to be a victor.